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The pain of having sisters

Of course, I love my sisters.
But something from my early years quietly shaped my life.

When I was two, I suddenly had to share my world.
I was too young to understand what was happening.
Too young to grasp big changes.
Too young to know how to keep my place in the family.

What I’ve been exploring lately is how that early experience planted the seeds of scarcity in me.
This sense of “there isn’t enough”
not enough love, not enough attention, not enough space for my needs.

And so a protector stepped in.
One who learned to minimise what I wanted,
to silence big feelings,
to become “easy,”
to take less space,
to convince me that my needs weren’t important anyway.

It’s strange how such early moments can ripple through adulthood…
how they show up in relationships, intimacy, business, self-worth…
How the body remembers long before the mind can understand. It’s a common wound under firstborns who suddenly had to share their parents.

Lately, I’ve been meeting that little girl again.
The one who felt that shift she couldn’t name,
the one who coped the only way she knew how.

Giving her softness.
Giving her space.
Letting her know she was never replaced.
Letting her feel that her needs matter.
That there is enough.
That she gets to take up space.

And somehow…
that simple truth is beginning to change everything.

#innerchildhealing #innerlijkwerk
#firstbornwound #embodiedhealing
#nervoussystemhealing #attachmenthealing
#selfworthjourney #innerlijkkindwerk

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Open post by jess.adrielle with ID 17865556311499935

The pain of having sisters

Of course, I love my sisters.
But something from my early years quietly shaped my life.

When I was two, I suddenly had to share my world.
I was too young to understand what was happening.
Too young to grasp big changes.
Too young to know how to keep my place in the family.

What I’ve been exploring lately is how that early experience planted the seeds of scarcity in me.
This sense of “there isn’t enough”
not enough love, not enough attention, not enough space for my needs.

And so a protector stepped in.
One who learned to minimise what I wanted,
to silence big feelings,
to become “easy,”
to take less space,
to convince me that my needs weren’t important anyway.

It’s strange how such early moments can ripple through adulthood…
how they show up in relationships, intimacy, business, self-worth…
How the body remembers long before the mind can understand. It’s a common wound under firstborns who suddenly had to share their parents.

Lately, I’ve been meeting that little girl again.
The one who felt that shift she couldn’t name,
the one who coped the only way she knew how.

Giving her softness.
Giving her space.
Letting her know she was never replaced.
Letting her feel that her needs matter.
That there is enough.
That she gets to take up space.

And somehow…
that simple truth is beginning to change everything.

#innerchildhealing #innerlijkwerk
#firstbornwound #embodiedhealing
#nervoussystemhealing #attachmenthealing
#selfworthjourney #innerlijkkindwerk

The Shadow Behind my Shadow 🌑
Full story in the slides >

During the @zoukmira retreat on the morning of day three, we were asked to draw our shadow, give it a form,
and then express it together as a group.

As we began, terror rose in my body.
My first thought was: I want to kill and destroy.
Around me people were screaming, crying, shaking.
My heart raced, my breath collapsed,
and I panicked and left the room.

Later @meher.juicymama told me:
“There might be a shadow behind the shadow there.”
I didn’t get it right away, but slowly it started to make sense.

That destructive energy wasn’t violence. It was repressed life force the anger and power that once felt too dangerous to express. My panic wasn’t failure, it was protection.

Behind destruction is often grief or helplessness.
Behind rage, the sadness of not being protected.
Behind control, the fear of being left.
Behind destruction, the fear of your own power.

Later in the retreat I noticed my triggers around attention, desire, attraction. Spaces with many women and few men.
The judgments I had and how those judgments were also part of my shadow.

Underneath them lives a longing to be seen, chosen, desired, in a way that feels safe.

Conversations during the event revealed more..
about male shadows in the community,
about spiritualised attraction, subtle bypassing,
and how dance can quietly shift into suggestion.

I realised I don’t just fear my power,
I fear the power of my sexuality.
My ability to attract, influence, and control.
Creative, seductive, and dangerous when unconscious.

Shadow work is humbling.
It’s not about fixing anything but letting the rage, freeze, longing, and fear coexist in truth.

Sometimes, leaving the room is what lets you return later
with more awareness and more courage.

#shadowwork #healingjourney #innerwork #embodiedfeminine #consciousconnection #dancecommunity #bodywisdom #nervoussystemhealing #selfawareness #conscioussexuality #embodiedsexuality

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Open post by jess.adrielle with ID 18097421959774926

The Shadow Behind my Shadow 🌑
Full story in the slides >

During the @zoukmira retreat on the morning of day three, we were asked to draw our shadow, give it a form,
and then express it together as a group.

As we began, terror rose in my body.
My first thought was: I want to kill and destroy.
Around me people were screaming, crying, shaking.
My heart raced, my breath collapsed,
and I panicked and left the room.

Later @meher.juicymama told me:
“There might be a shadow behind the shadow there.”
I didn’t get it right away, but slowly it started to make sense.

That destructive energy wasn’t violence. It was repressed life force the anger and power that once felt too dangerous to express. My panic wasn’t failure, it was protection.

Behind destruction is often grief or helplessness.
Behind rage, the sadness of not being protected.
Behind control, the fear of being left.
Behind destruction, the fear of your own power.

Later in the retreat I noticed my triggers around attention, desire, attraction. Spaces with many women and few men.
The judgments I had and how those judgments were also part of my shadow.

Underneath them lives a longing to be seen, chosen, desired, in a way that feels safe.

Conversations during the event revealed more..
about male shadows in the community,
about spiritualised attraction, subtle bypassing,
and how dance can quietly shift into suggestion.

I realised I don’t just fear my power,
I fear the power of my sexuality.
My ability to attract, influence, and control.
Creative, seductive, and dangerous when unconscious.

Shadow work is humbling.
It’s not about fixing anything but letting the rage, freeze, longing, and fear coexist in truth.

Sometimes, leaving the room is what lets you return later
with more awareness and more courage.

#shadowwork #healingjourney #innerwork #embodiedfeminine #consciousconnection #dancecommunity #bodywisdom #nervoussystemhealing #selfawareness #conscioussexuality #embodiedsexuality

Your body never lies.
The real question is: are you brave enough to listen?

In my Connective Consent 1:1 sessions, we enter a space where your body becomes the guide again. A space where you soften, land, and learn to trust the sensations, signals and whispers that have been waiting for your attention.

What is true for you in this moment.
In your body.
In connection.
In your expression.

We work with attuned, safe touch, consent principles such as The Wheel of Consent, slow somatic practices, and the intelligence of your own boundaries and desires.

These sessions are for those ready to feel more deeply, to express what they need, and to explore what they genuinely long for beneath the surface.

If you feel a pull, reach out. You’re welcome to message me and sense whether this journey meets you where you are.

#connectiveconsent #consentwork #embodiedconsent #wheelofconsent #somaticcoaching #feelyourboundaries #awarenesswork #personaldevelopment #selflove #embodiment #healingjourney #mindbodyconnection #consciousconnection #somatichealing #nervoussystemhealing #bodywisdom

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Open post by jess.adrielle with ID 17853728601560715

Your body never lies.
The real question is: are you brave enough to listen?

In my Connective Consent 1:1 sessions, we enter a space where your body becomes the guide again. A space where you soften, land, and learn to trust the sensations, signals and whispers that have been waiting for your attention.

What is true for you in this moment.
In your body.
In connection.
In your expression.

We work with attuned, safe touch, consent principles such as The Wheel of Consent, slow somatic practices, and the intelligence of your own boundaries and desires.

These sessions are for those ready to feel more deeply, to express what they need, and to explore what they genuinely long for beneath the surface.

If you feel a pull, reach out. You’re welcome to message me and sense whether this journey meets you where you are.

#connectiveconsent #consentwork #embodiedconsent #wheelofconsent #somaticcoaching #feelyourboundaries #awarenesswork #personaldevelopment #selflove #embodiment #healingjourney #mindbodyconnection #consciousconnection #somatichealing #nervoussystemhealing #bodywisdom

The Sisterhood Wound that shaped me

There was a time when being around women felt unsafe.
Somewhere in my early teenage years I learned that love and friendship could turn into rejection, bullying and humiliation overnight.

A part of me longed for connection, but another part stayed alert, scanning for the moment it might fall apart.

At @zoukmira embodiment events I found myself surrounded by women again. Expressive, confident, radiant women. My body felt cautious; it remembered. But then something inside me began to shift.

It started with @jasmine.aspoeck. She slowly found her way through my walls, and she did the same with @lenaviktoriafrenzel. We realised how deeply we resonated because we carried the same wound.

During the women’s circle shared openly and emotionally about the pain and grief I had carried for years. While I was speaking, I could hear and feel the ripple of my words in the circle. Afterwards several women came to me and told me that they could relate to my story too.

Since then something in me has softened. I notice that I can relax more around women, that my body no longer prepares for betrayal by default. I’m learning that sisterhood doesn’t need to be perfect to be healing. What matters is truth, presence, and the willingness to keep our hearts open even when we’re scared.

Thank you Jasmine. Thank you Lena. For seeing me, for letting me see you, and for showing me that sisterhood can be medicine when it’s met with honesty and depth. I’m looking forward to more laughter, more realness, and more moments that remind me how powerful it is when women choose each other instead of pulling away.

#sisterhoodhealing #feminineconnection #womenscircle #sisterhoodwound #feminineenergy #heartopenness #healingrelationships #authenticconnection #emotionalhealing #belonging

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Open post by jess.adrielle with ID 18383203795199002

The Sisterhood Wound that shaped me

There was a time when being around women felt unsafe.
Somewhere in my early teenage years I learned that love and friendship could turn into rejection, bullying and humiliation overnight.

A part of me longed for connection, but another part stayed alert, scanning for the moment it might fall apart.

At @zoukmira embodiment events I found myself surrounded by women again. Expressive, confident, radiant women. My body felt cautious; it remembered. But then something inside me began to shift.

It started with @jasmine.aspoeck. She slowly found her way through my walls, and she did the same with @lenaviktoriafrenzel. We realised how deeply we resonated because we carried the same wound.

During the women’s circle shared openly and emotionally about the pain and grief I had carried for years. While I was speaking, I could hear and feel the ripple of my words in the circle. Afterwards several women came to me and told me that they could relate to my story too.

Since then something in me has softened. I notice that I can relax more around women, that my body no longer prepares for betrayal by default. I’m learning that sisterhood doesn’t need to be perfect to be healing. What matters is truth, presence, and the willingness to keep our hearts open even when we’re scared.

Thank you Jasmine. Thank you Lena. For seeing me, for letting me see you, and for showing me that sisterhood can be medicine when it’s met with honesty and depth. I’m looking forward to more laughter, more realness, and more moments that remind me how powerful it is when women choose each other instead of pulling away.

#sisterhoodhealing #feminineconnection #womenscircle #sisterhoodwound #feminineenergy #heartopenness #healingrelationships #authenticconnection #emotionalhealing #belonging

When a man didn’t run from my emotions

During the @zoukmira embodiment events, I met someone who reminded me of what that could feel like. He wasn’t interfering in my process or offering advice I didn’t ask for. He wasn’t overly protective or constantly checking in. He was just there. I could sense him in the background, grounded, steady, available. And when I needed him, I could approach him. When things felt too much, I could lean on him, and he would simply be still. When I cried on his shoulder, he didn’t try to make it better. He just stayed quiet, letting me have my moment, and somehow that stillness spoke more than any words could.

When we paired up in a shadow workshop I showed him some of the anger I carried inside, and I remember feeling scared that it might be too much, that I did not feel safe enough in the container of the group to go deeper. He looked at me and said, “I can handle much more than that.” Those words landed so deeply. It wasn’t even the words themselves, it was the way he said them, the energy behind them. I realized how much I had longed for that kind of presence my entire life; a masculine energy that could hold me without needing to control me, that could guide me back to my center simply by being there.

I can see now that so much of what I’ve been searching for in men was really this longing for safety, for someone to help me hold all that I feel, not to fix it, not to change it, but to witness it. And somehow, through this connection, something in me started to heal.

This experience didn’t erase what was missing in the past, but it showed me what’s possible now. That love, safety, and presence can still arrive later in life, in forms I didn’t expect.

@Martin_hartmannshenn I’m grateful for the friendship we have build. A connection built on trust, and holding space for each other. In my most vulnerable moments, I could lean on you and feel the steadiness of a masculine support that helped me stay with myself. 💫

#innerchildhealing #fatherwound #divinemasculine #innerwork #embodiedhealing #emotionalawareness #healingjourney #shadowwork #selfhealing #embodiment #traumahealing #spiritualgrowth #nervoussystemregulation

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Open post by jess.adrielle with ID 17982026264919894

When a man didn’t run from my emotions

During the @zoukmira embodiment events, I met someone who reminded me of what that could feel like. He wasn’t interfering in my process or offering advice I didn’t ask for. He wasn’t overly protective or constantly checking in. He was just there. I could sense him in the background, grounded, steady, available. And when I needed him, I could approach him. When things felt too much, I could lean on him, and he would simply be still. When I cried on his shoulder, he didn’t try to make it better. He just stayed quiet, letting me have my moment, and somehow that stillness spoke more than any words could.

When we paired up in a shadow workshop I showed him some of the anger I carried inside, and I remember feeling scared that it might be too much, that I did not feel safe enough in the container of the group to go deeper. He looked at me and said, “I can handle much more than that.” Those words landed so deeply. It wasn’t even the words themselves, it was the way he said them, the energy behind them. I realized how much I had longed for that kind of presence my entire life; a masculine energy that could hold me without needing to control me, that could guide me back to my center simply by being there.

I can see now that so much of what I’ve been searching for in men was really this longing for safety, for someone to help me hold all that I feel, not to fix it, not to change it, but to witness it. And somehow, through this connection, something in me started to heal.

This experience didn’t erase what was missing in the past, but it showed me what’s possible now. That love, safety, and presence can still arrive later in life, in forms I didn’t expect.

@Martin_hartmannshenn I’m grateful for the friendship we have build. A connection built on trust, and holding space for each other. In my most vulnerable moments, I could lean on you and feel the steadiness of a masculine support that helped me stay with myself. 💫

#innerchildhealing #fatherwound #divinemasculine #innerwork #embodiedhealing #emotionalawareness #healingjourney #shadowwork #selfhealing #embodiment #traumahealing #spiritualgrowth #nervoussystemregulation

Just finished the Build Your Dance retreat by Brenda & Anderson few days ago and what a dream it was.

Just days before I traveled to Bali, I got the unexpected opportunity to join. I’ve done many shorter weekend retreats with them before, but never a longer one. It has been a dream of mine for years and knowing this would probably be the last one for now made it even more special.

I came with one clear intention: to challenge myself and learn how to lead. It was far outside of my comfort zone, but something I felt deeply called to do.

People asked me, why lead?
• I knew it would make me a better follower
• In Bali, there are often more followers than leaders at socials, so leading means more chances to dance
• And I love dancing with women. It feels softer, safer, and kinder on my body.
•Another deeper reason is about balance. For years, I’ve focused on my feminine growth, through women’s work, feminine leadership, tantra and yoga. Now it feels time to mature the masculine within me: to grow in confidence, direction, and grounding.

Arriving in Bali, after just 3 hours of sleep, I went straight into the retreat. Jetlagged & tired and yet it became the perfect landing. A safe space to ground, to feel my body, to connect through dance.

The retreat went by so fast. On the last night, tears were flowing as we closed not only the retreat, but also the final chapter of Brenda and Anderson trainings. For me, it felt like a beginning: stepping into a new life here in Bali, with dance as my teacher once again.

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Open post by jess.adrielle with ID 18002814728813091

Just finished the Build Your Dance retreat by Brenda & Anderson few days ago and what a dream it was.

Just days before I traveled to Bali, I got the unexpected opportunity to join. I’ve done many shorter weekend retreats with them before, but never a longer one. It has been a dream of mine for years and knowing this would probably be the last one for now made it even more special.

I came with one clear intention: to challenge myself and learn how to lead. It was far outside of my comfort zone, but something I felt deeply called to do.

People asked me, why lead?
• I knew it would make me a better follower
• In Bali, there are often more followers than leaders at socials, so leading means more chances to dance
• And I love dancing with women. It feels softer, safer, and kinder on my body.
•Another deeper reason is about balance. For years, I’ve focused on my feminine growth, through women’s work, feminine leadership, tantra and yoga. Now it feels time to mature the masculine within me: to grow in confidence, direction, and grounding.

Arriving in Bali, after just 3 hours of sleep, I went straight into the retreat. Jetlagged & tired and yet it became the perfect landing. A safe space to ground, to feel my body, to connect through dance.

The retreat went by so fast. On the last night, tears were flowing as we closed not only the retreat, but also the final chapter of Brenda and Anderson trainings. For me, it felt like a beginning: stepping into a new life here in Bali, with dance as my teacher once again.

🇬🇧English in comments

Het is heerlijk weer.
Ik zit met mijn vriend op een terrasje te werken, met een prachtig uitzicht op het park.
Langzaam stroomt het terras vol mensen. Gesprekken, koffiekopjes die neergezet worden, stemmen, gelach.
En ergens merk ik… dat ik me steeds slechter begin te voelen.

Op een gegeven moment zeg ik hardop: “Ik ben overprikkeld. Het gaat niet goed.”
Ik pak mijn geluidsdempende oordopjes, zet een kalmerend muziekje op, doe mijn ogen dicht en leun met mijn hoofd tegen de achterkant van de bank.

En dan komen de emoties.
Verdriet.
Niet gekoppeld aan een herinnering of een gedachte. Gewoon… verdriet.
Ik laat het over me heen komen, zonder er iets mee te willen doen.
Langzaam vullen mijn ogen zich met tranen.

Na een tijdje open ik mijn ogen weer.
Dezelfde zon. Hetzelfde park.
Maar ik voel me ineens zoveel lichter, zoveel meer aanwezig.

Soms zitten we de hele dag in ons hoofd.
We merken niet hoeveel kleine gebeurtenissen, berichtjes, blikken, geluiden zich in ons opstapelen.
We banjeren maar door.
En pas als het lichaam fluistert genoeg – of soms schreeuwt – hebben we de kans om te stoppen.

Soms is dat alles wat nodig is:
de ogen sluiten, het lichaam voelen, en toestaan dat alles wat vastzat… mag stromen.

Herken jij dit? Dat je pas voelt wat er leeft in je lichaam als je eindelijk even stilvalt?
Voel je vrij om hieronder te delen.

#overprikkeling #hoogsensitief #ontprikkelen #emotiesvoelen #emotioneelherstel #zelfzorg #hsp #lichamenluisteren #embodiment #emotiesdoorvoelen

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Open post by jess.adrielle with ID 17987511245836202

🇬🇧English in comments

Het is heerlijk weer.
Ik zit met mijn vriend op een terrasje te werken, met een prachtig uitzicht op het park.
Langzaam stroomt het terras vol mensen. Gesprekken, koffiekopjes die neergezet worden, stemmen, gelach.
En ergens merk ik… dat ik me steeds slechter begin te voelen.

Op een gegeven moment zeg ik hardop: “Ik ben overprikkeld. Het gaat niet goed.”
Ik pak mijn geluidsdempende oordopjes, zet een kalmerend muziekje op, doe mijn ogen dicht en leun met mijn hoofd tegen de achterkant van de bank.

En dan komen de emoties.
Verdriet.
Niet gekoppeld aan een herinnering of een gedachte. Gewoon… verdriet.
Ik laat het over me heen komen, zonder er iets mee te willen doen.
Langzaam vullen mijn ogen zich met tranen.

Na een tijdje open ik mijn ogen weer.
Dezelfde zon. Hetzelfde park.
Maar ik voel me ineens zoveel lichter, zoveel meer aanwezig.

Soms zitten we de hele dag in ons hoofd.
We merken niet hoeveel kleine gebeurtenissen, berichtjes, blikken, geluiden zich in ons opstapelen.
We banjeren maar door.
En pas als het lichaam fluistert genoeg – of soms schreeuwt – hebben we de kans om te stoppen.

Soms is dat alles wat nodig is:
de ogen sluiten, het lichaam voelen, en toestaan dat alles wat vastzat… mag stromen.

Herken jij dit? Dat je pas voelt wat er leeft in je lichaam als je eindelijk even stilvalt?
Voel je vrij om hieronder te delen.

#overprikkeling #hoogsensitief #ontprikkelen #emotiesvoelen #emotioneelherstel #zelfzorg #hsp #lichamenluisteren #embodiment #emotiesdoorvoelen

Ben jij op zoek naar meer verdieping in jezelf? Naar een plek waar je je verlangens kunt voelen, zonder oordeel of druk? Waar je de ruimte krijgt om in je kwetsbaarheid te zijn?

In deze sessies creëer ik samen met mijn klanten een veilige ruimte voor ontdekking, voor vertragen, en voor het voelen van wat er écht in je leeft. ✨
Lees verder om te ontdekken hoe deze sessies levens kunnen transformeren. 🔥

Wat is jouw verlangen? Wat zou jij willen ontdekken in een veilige, ondersteunende ruimte?
Deel het met me in de reacties!

➡️ Ben jij klaar voor de volgende stap in jouw persoonlijke reis? Stuur me een bericht om te ontdekken hoe we samen kunnen werken!

#Embodiment #Sensuality #NervousSystemRegulation #PersonalGrowth #SelfDiscovery #Vulnerability #DeepConnection #HealingJourney #SafeSpace #InnerConnection #IntuitiveCoaching #TransformativeSessions #HealingTouch #SelfLoveJourney #Wellbeing #SlowDown #TrustYourself #FeelYourFeelings

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Open post by jess.adrielle with ID 18042737225646979