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(Wheel of) Consent

July 8, 2025
(Wheel of) Consent

Consent.
A pathway back to your truth, through the wisdom of your body.

I first came into contact with the Wheel of Consent in 2017.
At the time, I didn’t fully understand the depth of what it could offer.
It took several encounters, through workshops, retreats, and embodied practices, before something truly clicked.

And when it did, it shook me.
I started to realise and feel, how much of my life had unfolded without my conscious consent.
How often I had crossed my own boundaries, stayed silent, said yes when I meant no
and how little I knew about expressing what I truly wanted.

The journey hasn’t always been gentle.
It has been confronting, raw, and deeply healing.
But over time, the Wheel has become one of the most powerful tools in my life.

What is the Wheel of Consent?

Created by Dr. Betty Martin, the Wheel of Consent is a framework for exploring giving, receiving, allowing, and taking with clarity and awareness.
It invites you to slow down and ask yourself, what is true for me right now?
What do I want? What am I willing to offer? What do I choose to receive?

It is not only about sexuality or intimacy, although it can transform those too.
It is about choice, agency, and embodied clarity in all areas of life:
relationships, parenting, work, friendships, and even how we relate to ourselves.

The Wheel helps you:

  • feel and honour your boundaries
  • recognise the difference between giving and pleasing
  • trust your yes and your no
  • express your desires without pressure or shame
  • experience touch and connection with safety and awareness

I approach the Wheel with a lot of care,
because consent is not a skill you learn once.
It is a lifelong practice.
A way of relating to yourself and others with more truth, more safety, and more joy.

How this work can support you

If you struggle to set boundaries, speak your needs, or trust your desires,
the Wheel of Consent can be a powerful compass.

In both 1:1 sessions and group experiences, I offer a gentle space to explore what is true for you.
At your pace, in your timing, with your full sovereignty intact.

You are welcome here, just as you are.

Pictures: Eugène Shaddai

Passion and style

Dicta sunt explicabo. Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernaturaut odit aut fugit, sed quia consequuntur. Dicta sunt explicabo.

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The pain of having sisters

Of course, I love my sisters.
But something from my early years quietly shaped my life.

When I was two, I suddenly had to share my world.
I was too young to understand what was happening.
Too young to grasp big changes.
Too young to know how to keep my place in the family.

What I’ve been exploring lately is how that early experience planted the seeds of scarcity in me.
This sense of “there isn’t enough”
not enough love, not enough attention, not enough space for my needs.

And so a protector stepped in.
One who learned to minimise what I wanted,
to silence big feelings,
to become “easy,”
to take less space,
to convince me that my needs weren’t important anyway.

It’s strange how such early moments can ripple through adulthood…
how they show up in relationships, intimacy, business, self-worth…
How the body remembers long before the mind can understand. It’s a common wound under firstborns who suddenly had to share their parents.

Lately, I’ve been meeting that little girl again.
The one who felt that shift she couldn’t name,
the one who coped the only way she knew how.

Giving her softness.
Giving her space.
Letting her know she was never replaced.
Letting her feel that her needs matter.
That there is enough.
That she gets to take up space.

And somehow…
that simple truth is beginning to change everything.

#innerchildhealing #innerlijkwerk
#firstbornwound #embodiedhealing
#nervoussystemhealing #attachmenthealing
#selfworthjourney #innerlijkkindwerk

27 0
Open post by jess.adrielle with ID 17865556311499935
The pain of having sisters Of course, I love my sisters. But something from my early years quietly shaped my life. When I was two, I suddenly had to share my world. I was too young to understand what was happening. Too young to grasp big changes. Too young to know how to keep my place in the family. What I’ve been exploring lately is how that early experience planted the seeds of scarcity in me. This sense of “there isn’t enough” not enough love, not enough attention, not enough space for my needs. And so a protector stepped in. One who learned to minimise what I wanted, to silence big feelings, to become “easy,” to take less space, to convince me that my needs weren’t important anyway. It’s strange how such early moments can ripple through adulthood… how they show up in relationships, intimacy, business, self-worth… How the body remembers long before the mind can understand. It’s a common wound under firstborns who suddenly had to share their parents. Lately, I’ve been meeting that little girl again. The one who felt that shift she couldn’t name, the one who coped the only way she knew how. Giving her softness. Giving her space. Letting her know she was never replaced. Letting her feel that her needs matter. That there is enough. That she gets to take up space. And somehow… that simple truth is beginning to change everything. #innerchildhealing #innerlijkwerk #firstbornwound #embodiedhealing #nervoussystemhealing #attachmenthealing #selfworthjourney #innerlijkkindwerk

When a man didn’t run from my emotions

During the @zoukmira embodiment events, I met someone who reminded me of what that could feel like. He wasn’t interfering in my process or offering advice I didn’t ask for. He wasn’t overly protective or constantly checking in. He was just there. I could sense him in the background, grounded, steady, available. And when I needed him, I could approach him. When things felt too much, I could lean on him, and he would simply be still. When I cried on his shoulder, he didn’t try to make it better. He just stayed quiet, letting me have my moment, and somehow that stillness spoke more than any words could.

When we paired up in a shadow workshop I showed him some of the anger I carried inside, and I remember feeling scared that it might be too much, that I did not feel safe enough in the container of the group to go deeper. He looked at me and said, “I can handle much more than that.” Those words landed so deeply. It wasn’t even the words themselves, it was the way he said them, the energy behind them. I realized how much I had longed for that kind of presence my entire life; a masculine energy that could hold me without needing to control me, that could guide me back to my center simply by being there.

I can see now that so much of what I’ve been searching for in men was really this longing for safety, for someone to help me hold all that I feel, not to fix it, not to change it, but to witness it. And somehow, through this connection, something in me started to heal. 

This experience didn’t erase what was missing in the past, but it showed me what’s possible now. That love, safety, and presence can still arrive later in life, in forms I didn’t expect.

@Martin_hartmannshenn I’m grateful for the friendship we have build. A connection built on trust, and holding space for each other. In my most vulnerable moments, I could lean on you and feel the steadiness of a masculine support that helped me stay with myself. 💫

 #innerchildhealing #fatherwound #divinemasculine #innerwork #embodiedhealing #emotionalawareness #healingjourney #shadowwork #selfhealing #embodiment #traumahealing #spiritualgrowth #nervoussystemregulation

34 7
Open post by jess.adrielle with ID 17982026264919894
When a man didn’t run from my emotions During the @zoukmira embodiment events, I met someone who reminded me of what that could feel like. He wasn’t interfering in my process or offering advice I didn’t ask for. He wasn’t overly protective or constantly checking in. He was just there. I could sense him in the background, grounded, steady, available. And when I needed him, I could approach him. When things felt too much, I could lean on him, and he would simply be still. When I cried on his shoulder, he didn’t try to make it better. He just stayed quiet, letting me have my moment, and somehow that stillness spoke more than any words could. When we paired up in a shadow workshop I showed him some of the anger I carried inside, and I remember feeling scared that it might be too much, that I did not feel safe enough in the container of the group to go deeper. He looked at me and said, “I can handle much more than that.” Those words landed so deeply. It wasn’t even the words themselves, it was the way he said them, the energy behind them. I realized how much I had longed for that kind of presence my entire life; a masculine energy that could hold me without needing to control me, that could guide me back to my center simply by being there. I can see now that so much of what I’ve been searching for in men was really this longing for safety, for someone to help me hold all that I feel, not to fix it, not to change it, but to witness it. And somehow, through this connection, something in me started to heal.  This experience didn’t erase what was missing in the past, but it showed me what’s possible now. That love, safety, and presence can still arrive later in life, in forms I didn’t expect. @Martin_hartmannshenn I’m grateful for the friendship we have build. A connection built on trust, and holding space for each other. In my most vulnerable moments, I could lean on you and feel the steadiness of a masculine support that helped me stay with myself. 💫  #innerchildhealing #fatherwound #divinemasculine #innerwork #embodiedhealing #emotionalawareness #healingjourney #shadowwork #selfhealing #embodiment #traumahealing #spiritualgrowth #nervoussystemregulation

🇬🇧English in comments

Het is heerlijk weer.
Ik zit met mijn vriend op een terrasje te werken, met een prachtig uitzicht op het park.
Langzaam stroomt het terras vol mensen. Gesprekken, koffiekopjes die neergezet worden, stemmen, gelach.
En ergens merk ik… dat ik me steeds slechter begin te voelen.

Op een gegeven moment zeg ik hardop: “Ik ben overprikkeld. Het gaat niet goed.”
Ik pak mijn geluidsdempende oordopjes, zet een kalmerend muziekje op, doe mijn ogen dicht en leun met mijn hoofd tegen de achterkant van de bank.

En dan komen de emoties.
Verdriet.
Niet gekoppeld aan een herinnering of een gedachte. Gewoon… verdriet.
Ik laat het over me heen komen, zonder er iets mee te willen doen.
Langzaam vullen mijn ogen zich met tranen.

Na een tijdje open ik mijn ogen weer.
Dezelfde zon. Hetzelfde park.
Maar ik voel me ineens zoveel lichter, zoveel meer aanwezig.

Soms zitten we de hele dag in ons hoofd.
We merken niet hoeveel kleine gebeurtenissen, berichtjes, blikken, geluiden zich in ons opstapelen.
We banjeren maar door.
En pas als het lichaam fluistert genoeg – of soms schreeuwt – hebben we de kans om te stoppen.

Soms is dat alles wat nodig is:
de ogen sluiten, het lichaam voelen, en toestaan dat alles wat vastzat… mag stromen.

Herken jij dit? Dat je pas voelt wat er leeft in je lichaam als je eindelijk even stilvalt?
Voel je vrij om hieronder te delen.

#overprikkeling #hoogsensitief #ontprikkelen #emotiesvoelen #emotioneelherstel #zelfzorg #hsp #lichamenluisteren #embodiment #emotiesdoorvoelen

33 1
Open post by jess.adrielle with ID 17987511245836202
🇬🇧English in comments Het is heerlijk weer. Ik zit met mijn vriend op een terrasje te werken, met een prachtig uitzicht op het park. Langzaam stroomt het terras vol mensen. Gesprekken, koffiekopjes die neergezet worden, stemmen, gelach. En ergens merk ik… dat ik me steeds slechter begin te voelen. Op een gegeven moment zeg ik hardop: “Ik ben overprikkeld. Het gaat niet goed.” Ik pak mijn geluidsdempende oordopjes, zet een kalmerend muziekje op, doe mijn ogen dicht en leun met mijn hoofd tegen de achterkant van de bank. En dan komen de emoties. Verdriet. Niet gekoppeld aan een herinnering of een gedachte. Gewoon… verdriet. Ik laat het over me heen komen, zonder er iets mee te willen doen. Langzaam vullen mijn ogen zich met tranen. Na een tijdje open ik mijn ogen weer. Dezelfde zon. Hetzelfde park. Maar ik voel me ineens zoveel lichter, zoveel meer aanwezig. Soms zitten we de hele dag in ons hoofd. We merken niet hoeveel kleine gebeurtenissen, berichtjes, blikken, geluiden zich in ons opstapelen. We banjeren maar door. En pas als het lichaam fluistert genoeg – of soms schreeuwt – hebben we de kans om te stoppen. Soms is dat alles wat nodig is: de ogen sluiten, het lichaam voelen, en toestaan dat alles wat vastzat… mag stromen. Herken jij dit? Dat je pas voelt wat er leeft in je lichaam als je eindelijk even stilvalt? Voel je vrij om hieronder te delen. #overprikkeling #hoogsensitief #ontprikkelen #emotiesvoelen #emotioneelherstel #zelfzorg #hsp #lichamenluisteren #embodiment #emotiesdoorvoelen
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